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Serious ill condition

Hari Sauri : When we got to Mayapur in 1977, just before Prabhupada got that really bad sickness that eventually led to his disappearance, a pujari from Maheshpandit Sunadi came. He wanted Srila Prabhupada to do a program there. We knew it was going to be a small, rinky-dink affair. But Prabhupada immediately agreed. I was unhappy because I knew how weak Prabhupada was by that time. In fact, when we first arrived in Mayapur, one morning on the balcony after breakfast Prabhupada was looking out over the fields and then turned to me and said, "Never in my life have I felt as weak as I do now. But still I would like to finish this Bhagavatam." I had seen evidences of Prabhupada's decrease in general health and fitness. Several times I had to literally pick him up when he had collapsed on staircases. So, anyway I was very concerned, and I really didn't want Prabhupada to go to this program. I complained, "Srila Prabhupada, why do you have to go?" Prabhupada said, "No, no, he has asked, I must go. It is preaching." I said, "But Prabhupada, there are so many sannyasis here, they can do the program." He said, "No, he wants me to go. I must go." Since I was upset, Prabhupada said, "Just like that story in the Krishna Book about Pradyumna. He was injured on the battlefield and taken away, but then he immediately went back to fight even though he was injured. That was his duty." I said, "But, Srila Prabhupada, it was his charioteer's duty to take him off the battlefield when he was sick." Prabhupada said, "Yes, and it was his duty to immediately return and fight." So he defeated me. It was his determination, and we did that program. Prabhupada wanted to encourage that pujari. It was a pandal program with four or five rickety steps leading up to the stage. Prabhupada immediately started stepping up one by one. By that time I was aware of how weak he was, so I stood on the step below him. As he went up one step, I went up one step, and I had my hands out just in case anything happened. Prabhupada was pushing himself up the steps with his cane. He had little strength in his legs, so he put one foot up and then to get the other one up he would actually push himself up with his cane. When he got to the second to the last step, he was straining, and then his strength went and he collapsed. I caught him and literally carried him up and put him on the stage. Prabhupada walked over to his seat and sat down like nothing had happened. Prabhupada literally sacrificed his life for us. I saw it. He wore his body out. The non-devotees are fond of identifying the cause of death. You could say that Prabhupada wore out his body in the service of mankind. That was the cause of his disappearance.


Reference: Memories Anecdotes of a Modern Day Saint - Volume 2 by Siddhanta Dasa